I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
