this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
