Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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