He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
