just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
