the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
