I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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