its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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