Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Never let your siblings swipe right.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
