JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
