Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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