He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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