Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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