HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
