I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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