just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
