Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
