i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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