Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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