How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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