Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
