he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
