bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I queefed so loud it echoed.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
