I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
