Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
