I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We're too hungover to prance.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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