laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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