I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
