2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
