Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
