I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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