The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
