After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
