It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
