Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
