I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
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