You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
