You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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