i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
