I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
