sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
