I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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