So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She said her name was "party"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
