We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
