Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
