Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he fucked my hip out of place.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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