he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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