Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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