I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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