"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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