You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
