...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
