Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
