So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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