It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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